Wednesday, September 3, 2014

5 Lies Christians Are Told

I love the Church. I have given my life to the Church. I believe in the Church because I believe the King reigns over everything. There is a lot to be praised and celebrated when it comes to the Church and Christian culture.
There is another side though. We have bought some lies. These lies are hurting us, crippling us. If we, as the Church, are going to become the image of God in the world, there are lies we must drop. Here are a few of the lies many Christians have bought into that are crippling us.

1. Some Sins are Worse Than Others.

This is plaguing our church culture. Here’s why. It creates only two types of people. Group one: those that have not committed the “bad” sins. They have avoided the worst of the worst, so they tend to judge those that have not. Group two: those that have committed the “bad” sins. They’re made to believe that once their virginity is gone or they drank too much, God is really mad at them. The stares and judgment from group one tends be more direct and apparent. Eventually, most in group two come to the realization they are just “not good enough.”
It’s true that some sins carry with them greater consequences. Murder somebody and you get jail time, gossip about your roommate and you get nothing. Both are sins. One has greater consequences. But this idea that avoiding a particular group of sins makes you more awesome than the group that has not is utterly ridiculous. We are all sinners.
It is time for Christians to stop ranking sins. The Cross is for every person. Let’s treat people this way.
It is time for Christians to stop ranking sins. The Cross is for every person. Let’s treat people this way.

2. God is Not OK With Doubt and Anger.

In a way, the logic for this mindset makes sense. It is disrespectful to yell at our earthly father and doubt his ways, so it must be the same (and more so) with God. But this idea discounts most of Psalms, where the psalmists write clearly of their doubt and anger with God.
Listen, God is all powerful. His love for you is so deep He sent His son to give you life. He can handle some doubt and anger. He knows this life is hard. He knows we are limited.
If you are reading this and have doubts about God, welcome to the club. We’ve all struggled with doubt, but doubt is an opportunity to draw near to God, not run from Him.

3. God’s Love for Me is Determined by My Behavior.

The problem here is that we think too highly of ourselves. We think we can control our behavior and be “good” and then God will love us.
But I suck at living up to God’s standard. Even on my most awesome day, I still end up light years short of God’s standard.
You are a child of God for one reason: What Jesus did for you. It’s not about you. You can’t earn God’s love. You can’t earn God’s favor. You are driving down an exhausting road. Take the next exit and get off!
You are awesome because of God. When you really suck at life, praise God. His love for you hasn’t changed. When you knock it out of the park, praise God. His love for you hasn’t changed.

4. We Should Never ‘Water Down’ the Message.

All right, some of you are ready to write me off. Hear me out.
I am not interested in changing the message. The message must stay the same. It is the message of Jesus that transforms lives. It is of first importance (I Cor. 15:1-3). I am interested in changing the delivery of the message. This idea that we should never alter the message so those who do not know Jesus can comprehend it is ridiculous.
I was talking recently with a guy who did not grow up in church. He has been a Christian for about 20 years now, but he told me, “I struggle to understand the message most Sundays. I don’t speak the language. So, most of the time I just tune out when the sermon starts.”
Translation: Christians often speak a language that is native to us, but foreign to those who have no framework for God. Call it Christianese. Call it whatever. But it is prideful to believe people should constantly reach up to our level.
Yes, we have a standard. Yes, we are called to be holy. But that isn’t the issue here. The issue is making the Gospel clear to everyone. It is equivalent to expecting a toddler to comprehend high school concepts. Ridiculous.
Christians often speak a language that is native to us, but foreign to those who have no framework for God.
Churches that are bringing non-Christians to Jesus get this. The message is not watered down. It is convicting, and it is powerful. But it is not littered with big Christian words that only locals understand.

5. God Wants Me to Be Happy.

The word “happy” appears six times in the Bible, none of those in reference to God’s intention for your life. This is not a bad thing, though. Happiness is more fleeting than a relationship on The Bachelor.
Right now, I am in a great mood. How quickly can that change? Happiness is almost always tied to the present. If we constantly lived for our current happiness, what a miserable life most of us would have. How many times has something awesome birthed from something not so awesome?
The good news for you and me is that God is much more concerned with lasting qualities such as joy and peace. Those qualities are unaffected by the fragility of life.

I'm in agreement with this article. Here are some of my thoughts.
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23
It is our flesh that seeks to "rank" sins. Yes, the physical world consequences may vary, but they all have the same eternal consequence - separation from God.
"Be angry, but do not sin." Ephesians 4:26
Obviously there are times when anger is permissible. And as was mentioned, many psalms are written from moments of doubt. The key is to not let the anger and doubt remain, as that brings about more separation from God and others. Living perpetually in a state of doubt or anger is not what God wants for you, but He understands we have moments or seasons of doubt and anger as we wrestle with this fallen world.
And for those keeping a count, I had my season of being a depressed missionary. Mental illness happens to many of us. The grace and acceptance extended to me helped me overcome.
"For God so loved the world . . ." John 3:16
His love is unconditional. It is a part of his character to love us; we don't earn His love. He adopted us as sons and daughters and in doing so gave us access to this love. We may behave in a way that leads to discipline, but the discipline is given in love in much the same way a parent disciplines a child yet still loves them. We get caught up in how our imperfect parents withheld love from us and superimpose that on God.
"I have become all things to all people . . ." 1 Corinthians 9:19-23
In the same way that I would communicate to a French speaker differently than an English speaker, I need to alter how I speak to someone who has no previous experience with Christianity. I am communicating the same truths to you but in a way that speaks to your heart.
The "Church" has created such a complicated vocabulary through the influence of King James English and the choice to transliterate instead of translate key Greek words. Breaking down the language into simpler words doesn't change the message, it makes it more accessible.
"Consider it pure joy . . ." James 1:2
Happy is used in some translations, but it is typically not how the word is used today. God did intend something so much better for us, but our ancestors chose to throw that away. We now live in fallen bodies on a fallen planet. The current teachings that say God wants me to be rich and happy are not in line with how I see Jesus and the Twelve living. If God wants us to be happy, how do you reconcile that with the Persecuted Church around the world? Are they disobedient, so He is withdrawing His favor? Or are American Christians the only ones who have earned the right to be happy?
God calls us to be joyful, which is based on our relationship with him. Happiness is based on happenings; what makes me happy today won't make me happy tomorrow. But joy gives me an inner sense of contentment whether I have material blessings or persecution.
(David Parker, commenter)

Friday, November 1, 2013

IT Terms

AC = Alternating Current
AFC = Automatic Frequency Control
ALFOT = Air bone Light Optical Fiber Technology
ALU = Arithmetic Logic Unit
AM = Amplitude Modulation
AMPS = Advanced Mobile Phone System
ATM = Asynchronous Transfer Mode
ATM =Automatic Teller Machine
BBC = British Broadcasting Corporation
BCS = Bachelor of Civil Service
BIOS = Basic Input Output System
BSC = Bachelor Science
CAD =Computer Aided Design
CAM= Computer Aided Manufacturing
CAT = Computerize Axial Tomography
CATV = Community Antenna Television
CCTV = Close Circuit Television
CD = Compact Disk
CDMA= Code Deviation Multiple Access
COMSAT= Communication Satellite Corporation
CPU=Central Processing Unit
CSE = Computer Science & Engineering
DC =Direct Current
DCS = Digital Cellular Service
DIAC = Diode on Ac
DME = Distance Measuring Equipments
DNA=Dioxyribo Nucleic Acid
ECG = Electroencephalography
EEE = Electrical & Electronics Engineering
ETE = Electronics & Telecommunication Engineering
EEPROM = Electrical Erasable Programmable Read Only Memory
EIA = Electronic Industries Association
EMG =Electromyography
EPROM = Erasable Programmable Read Only Memory
FDDI= Fiber Distributed Digital Interface
FDM = Frequency Division Multiplexing
FDMA = Frequency Division Multiple Access
FET = Field Effect Transistor
FIFO = First In First Out
FM = Frequency Modulation
FTP= File Transfer Protocol
GCS = Global Communication System
GPS = Global Positioning system
GSM = Global System for Mobile Communication
HD= High Definition
HRD= Human Resource Development
HTML = Hyper Text Markup Language
HTTP = Hyper Text Transfer Protocol
IF = Intermediate Frequency
INTELAST = International Telecommunication Satellite
Organization
IP= Internet Protocol
IPS = Interruptible Power Supply
IRC= Internet Relay Chat
ISD = International Subscriber Dialing
ISO= International Standard Organization
ISP = Internet Service Provider
JPEG= Joint Photographic Expert Group
KB = Kilo byte
KBPS= Kilo byte per second
KG = Kilo Gram
LAN = Local Area Network
LASCR = Light Activated Silicon Control Rectifier
LASER = Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
LCD = Liquid Crystal Display
LED= Light Emitting Diode
LIFO = Last In First Out
LNA = Low Noise Amplifier
MAN = Metropolitan Area Network
MASER =Microwave Amplification by Stimulated Emission of
Radiation
MB = Mega Byte
MCT = Moss Control Thyristar
MODEM= Modulator demodulator
MOSFET = Metal Oxide Semiconductor Field Effect Transistor
MPEG = Moving Photographic Expert Group
NASA = National Aeronautics and Space Administration
NFS = Network File System
NWD = National Wide Dialing
OOP = Object Oriented Programming
OSI= Open System Interconnection
PAL = Phase Alternation Line
PC = Personal Computer
PCB = Printed Circuit Board
PCM= Pulse Code Modulation
PDC = Personal Digital Cellular
PID= Proportional, Derivative, Integral
PIN = Personal Identify Number
PLC = Programmable Logic Controller
PROM = Programmable Read Only Memory
PUK= PIN Unblocking Key
PVC = Polyvinyl chloride
PWM = Pulse Width Modulation
QAM = Quartered Amplitude Modulation
RADAR = Radio Detection and Ranging
RAM= Random Access Memory
RF= Radio Frequency
ROM = Read Only Memory
RPM= Rotation per Minute
SCR = Silicon Control Rectifier
SDMA = Space Division Multiple Access
SIM= Subscriber Identify Module
SIT = Static Induction Transistor
SITH= Static Induction Thyristor
SMD = Surface Mounded Device
SMPS = Switching Mode Power Supply
SMS = Short Message Service
SMT= Surface Mounded Technology
SONET = Synchronous Optical Fiber Network
TCP = Transmission Control Protocol
TDMA = Time Division Multiple Access
TENS= Transcutaneous Electric Nerve Stimulation
TRIAC= Triode on Ac
TV= Tele Vision
UHF = Ultra High Frequency
UPS = Uninterruptible Power Supply
URL = Universal Resource Locator
VCD = Video Compact Disk
VGA = Video Graphic Analyzer
VHF = Very High Frequency
VOIP = Voice Over Internet Protocol
VSAT = Very Small Aperture Terminals
WAN = Wide Area Network
WAP= Wireless Application Protocol
WiMAX = Worldwide Interoperability for Microwave Access
WWW= World Wide Web
XML = Extended Markup Language

You Should (Not) Date A Writer

SEP. 11, 2012 By TRAVIS GRANDT

Action verbs. He employs the use of action verbs when practicing his craft. Action verbs invoke the feeling of movement and importance. He was so used to passive verbs before. Outside the page, the world was passing him by. But now, on the page at least, he commands these words and creates a clear picture of exactly what he wants. When you walk to the table, he stands and smiles. He steps forward to pull the chair out as you sit down. He carefully places his fingers around the rim of his glass and meets your eyes before he drinks.

Writers use action words because they make it easier for you to picture yourself doing them.

Introspection. He writes, but he does not write for a living. People are rarely afforded the great luxury of relying on their truest talent for income, but he tells you that he writes. He calls himself a schoolteacher, but he tells you that he writes. Then he asks you, while he takes a coaster and places it under his cocktail, what a person truly is. He asks you if a person is who they say they are or what it isthey do.

Writers make you think because they want to stay with you long after they’ve left.

Metamorphosis. He shares titles but not details. He coolly laughs and tells you that his pieces are personal and that you will have to read them yourself. When you ask why strangers can read them but you cannot, he takes another sip from his cocktail and moves the coaster a bit closer to himself so he can lean back as he informs you that you are no longer a stranger.

Writers invoke change in their characters because they want you to believe that you — or they — can.

Skilled. His vocabulary is extremely eloquent and he boasts a better barroom disposition than you have experienced in the last — I don’t know how many years. The feeling that begins to flutter, flurry, and fly through your chest is unequivocal. He orders something unusual, like a Black Russian or a Tom Collins, and when you request a beer he says that surely a complex woman deserves a complex drink. You let the Cosmopolitan burn your throat.

Writers equip themselves with words for the same reason a knight fortifies his armor.

Characterization. When he offers his place to stay for the night he already knows how far you have to go to make it home, he already expects the excuse fumbled over your lips and when you think your feet fail you he puts his hand out and your fingers grip his palm. He smiles and in this smile you can see the weaknesses he spent the whole night hiding. You look into his eyes and see the compassion he really holds. He knew this is what would win you over and he knew this would be the point in the night you decided to sleep with him. When you slip your hand into his hand, your arm under his shoulders and your tongue into his mouth, he expected every moment.

He knows you because he wrote you. He created you. You are his.

Monday, October 7, 2013

18 Things Every Person Must Do In Their Lifetime

18 Things Every Person Must Do In Their Lifetime


OCT. 6, 2013 By BRIANNA WIEST

1. Accept that there will be whole swaths of you that will always seem like a mystery. There will be things that may never make sense. There will be questions that may always go unanswered. Despite this, you must stop questioning the steady sense of knowing your body somehow delivers to you anyway. Even when logic would seem to defeat it, and your mind is combatting it furiously. That knowing is your truth. That knowing is what you have to act on without sound reason. We call this the leap of faith. Learn to take it.

2. Learn what it means to have radical empathy. Realize that underneath it all we are the same. We have all suffered. We have all known loss, heartbreak, grief, sadness, tragedy and misfortune, all in the uniqueness of our own experiences. You may not know what someone’s story is but you do know what it feels like to have a knife going through you when you lose someone you love. What it’s like to be completely alone and thwarted from society. You always have the ability to understand people at that very raw, human level. It’s only a matter of how much you’re willing to see yourself in them.

3. If you love someone, freaking tell them. Write it on notes next to their bed and in journals that they’ll one day find and interrupt their sentences with it if you have to. There is nothing more important than being vocal about loving someone. You want to know the truth? We are all starving for love and acceptance and if you love someone you need to tell them that without being afraid that they don’t love you as much, or at all. That’s not love. That’s greed. That’s neediness. That’s the desire for affirmation and attention. Love, in its purest, untapped form, does not hinge on the requirement that they’ll love you in return.

4. Let loving someone or not loving someone be enough in deciding whether or not you want to be with them. The rest are augmentable details. But that core is unchanging.

5. Have a verifiably effective plan for coping with emotional pain. Sometimes wicked anxiety crops up out of nowhere. Some days we’ll be just going along our way and then all of a sudden all of the issues of our childhood come sweeping back through us like we never grew out of them and we panic and hold onto them because we don’t know how to let go because it seems like doing so will give them the power to sneak up on us again. In these moments, you need a friend to call and a shoulder to lean on and a playlist to blast and a journal to write in. And somewhere in that journal, you need to have written: “this too shall pass.”

6. Stop trying to convince people to love you. With what you wear, in sullied comments that dig for their appreciation, in how your interests have forcefully evolved to complement or mirror those of whom you are so desperately trying to win over. Stop doing things so you’ll be regarded highly in other people’s opinions. That won’t make them love you more. It will only drive you farther away from yourself.

7. Learn to say sorry and mean it. Realize that what most wisdom stems from is forgiveness: for ourselves, for others, for what happened and for what’s missing, for what’s unstable and what’s gone unacknowledged. Realize that you won’t always receive an apology and you still may have to find forgiveness anyway. Realize that’s the only way to understand just how powerful a genuine apology can be.

8. Write lists and make goals and always keep yourself moving toward something. Joy is in the moment, but hope is in tomorrow. It’s a fine balance that takes lifetimes to perfect. Don’t feel bad if you err toward one mindset or another. Just don’t forget that when you do fall too deeply into focusing on today or tomorrow, that you always have the other option.

9. Accept that while most things end up okay, not everything does. Some things may dig themselves into you and you’ll carry them through your whole life. Sometimes things go mysteriously unresolved. Sometimes you’ll fight hard and lose. Sometimes you’ll be so far in denial that acceptance isn’t something you start to approach for years. It’s important to be okay with not being okay. It’s part of the human condition. It’s very beautiful if you let it show you a deeper route into yourself.

10. Stand up for what’s just. Stand up for love and stand up for equality and respect. Don’t be a bystander in someone else’s life but more importantly, don’t be a bystander in your own.

11. Let yourself be useless sometimes. You can’t spend your entire life reveling in achievement. In fact, you’ll spend most of your days on your knees grappling with what you’re most passionate about. You’ll turn up on the other side eventually, but not without days upon days of climbing.

12. Say thank you even when you don’t feel gratitude. It’s not that you shouldn’t feel it, but sometimes you just might not. But saying “thank you” is one of those rare things in which you do entirely for the other person. Saying thank you doesn’t help you. It helps the other person want to give again. You won’t understand what “thank you” means until it’s given to you after you’ve truly given to someone else. Foster that for other people and keep the cycle going. It will come back to you eventually.

13. Never go into anything thinking you are entitled to it because you are talented, because you have suffered for it or because it’s time for the universe to cater to your needs just this once. This will never be the truth.

14. Buy a notebook. Write down what you want. Write down what hurts you. Show it to someone you love. Save it for your children. Burn it in your backyard. Either way, go to bed knowing that in some way, those things are out of you.

15. Know the difference between the limits that withhold you and the limits that are crucial for you to obey. Draw your lines accordingly. Live your life around them.

16. Learn to comfort someone. Head nods and “I understands” won’t mean jack shit when someone is really in the depths of something. If you love someone, know when it’s time to order their favorite food and hold their hand the way they like and respond in the way they are looking to be responded to. Sometimes it’s with empathy and understanding, sometimes it’s with problem-solving mechanisms and jokes to lighten things. You won’t know unless you know someone thoroughly. There are reasons people don’t just look to anybody when they’re really in need. These are them.

17. Learn to enjoy talking about something that doesn’t come at the expense of someone else.

18. Realize how important it is to mourn properly. This means letting yourself be a whole big ball of effing mess now and again. Things and people will phase in and out as scheduled. You can’t keep holding on for their return because most often, they won’t come. But that withholding will shape you, and it will shape you through your own self-induced pain and suffering. If you don’t want that to be your story, write it a different way. It starts with saying goodbye to what’s not meant for us and what’s left inexplicably. Your quality of life will completely depend on how well you embrace this. Choose wisely. TC Mark

Sunday, September 8, 2013

From Thought Catalog: 31 Great Quotes About Being In Your 20s

31 Great Quotes About Being In Your 20s

JUN. 7, 2013 
I think your 20s are the hardest part of life. I mean, everyone goes on about how hard it is to be a teenager, but actually I think it’s tougher to be in your 20s because you’re expected to be a grownup and expected to earn your own living and be successful and I think you feel like a kid still. Nigel Cole
Every woman in her late 20s goes through a period where she just doesn’t believe love is out there anymore, but it is. And I think the minute you stop looking for it is when it comes for you.Kristen Bell
There’s an ‘Everything must go!’ emotional liquidation feel to the end of your twenties, isn’t there? What will happen if we turn thirty and we’re not ‘ready?’ You don’t feel entirely settled in any aspect of your life, even if you are on paper. Sloane Crosley
22 is basically the only age you can use as leverage. Meaning that because it’s the exact age between life-as-you-know-it and what will later be known as ‘real life’ (that’s scientifically proven, of course), people expect you to make some mistakes. Mistakes like overcooking a pot-roast or dating someone who may not be right for you. And that’s okay, because heck, you’re just 22. Shanelle Kaul
I’m never so sure as I was in my mid-20s. Meryl Streep
20-somethings have the tendency to imagine that their 20s are the last chance they’re going to have to experiment, explore, and party. This is a false premise. Restaurants and cafes continue to let people over 29 through their doors. They even serve them alcohol. Holden Desalles
Start your twenties with a lot of friends and leave with a few good ones. What happened? People faded away into their careers and relationships. Fights were had and never resolved. Shit happens. Ryan O’Connell
When I was in my twenties, it felt like I was riding wild horses, and I was hoping I didn’t go over a cliff. Chaka Khan
26 shows up in the middle of coffee one morning and hands you a freshly printed memo that reads: “You’re going to get old one day and die. You’re cool for now, but it will happen. You’re officially on notice. You won’t be young forever.” And then 26 struts out of your office, like an unconcerned dick, having nonchalantly just changed your entire perspective. Jessica Blankenship
I like getting older. When you’re in your twenties you’re really forging for your future. Things take shape later on. Crispin Glover
The path to whatever your notion of success is will likely not be linear. Don’t take continuous personal growth for granted. Just because you’re older doesn’t necessarily mean you’re wiser. Your 20s will be full of failures — let them happen and learn as you go. Holden Desalles
When you’re single and in your 20s, you throw on a pair of jeans and look fabulous. Sheena Easton
When you’re in your early 20s your love life seems to explode every 20 minutes or so. By the time you’ve reached your thirties, it is every five or ten years. Patrick Marber
The thing I love most about my generation — and something that rarely gets recognized — is that we’re fucking hustlers. We make it work. We get that money. We’re innovative and resourceful. The odds may be stacked against us and yet we still find a way to triumph. Ryan O’Connell
[S]pend your twenties learning how to mentally block out trend pieces about the importance of reaching specific life milestones in a timely fashion. Gabrielle Moss
Your 20s are not by default the only time in your life that you can pick up and go, or that you can try out different careers. The space where comfort and risk come together is a space where learning and growing are most likely to happen. If you get set in your ways and become unsatisfied but comfortable, you’ll never learn anything different unless you’re willing to put yourself in a scary position. Holden Desalles
At 27, I can talk to my parents and see that while they’ve done a lot of amazing things with their lives, there are still doubts and insecurities that they’re holding on to and trying to make sense of. Answers don’t come with age. Age provides perspective, but life wasn’t designed with a point at which it definitively gets easier.Jana Eleanor
Remember in your late teens and early 20s when your friends would get knocked up and you’d be like, HA-HA, sucker! Have fun milking your boobs while I hit ~da club~? Well, here’s your karmic payback: age appropriate people are tying the knot left and right and YOU’RE NOT ONE OF THEM. Stephanie Georgopulos
In your twenties, if you have any amount of complexity in your childhood, or any trauma that you haven’t dealt with, it comes out. That’s why you have a lot of artists that don’t make it through. Jeremy Sisto
Positive, healthy, loving relationships in your twenties… I don’t know if anyone would disagree with it: I think they’re the exception, not the norm. People are either playing house really aggressively because they’re scared of what an uncertain time it is, or they’re avoiding commitment altogether. Lena Dunham
I lived my twenties in a very public manner and if anyone’s twenties are documented it’s not always going to be pretty. Sienna Miller
I think, for the majority of my twenties, I was always so concerned with what I didn’t have, or what I still wanted. Adam Lambert
I feel like you don’t know if someone’s equipped for a romantic relationship until they’re out of their twenties. Lena Dunham
[H]appiness comes out of being willing to do your work in your twenties to find out who you are, what you love. Candace Bushnell
In my early twenties, I had no idea who I was. And I think that’s one reason you should try different relationships. I’ve had good and bad ones, but I took away things from them that helped me become who I am. Cobie Smulders
I look back on my 20s. It’s supposed to be the prime of your life, the most vital, the most beautiful. But you’re making your critical decisions and sometimes your most critical mistakes. Ann Brashares
I thought I knew everything about love and relationships in my 20s, the ignorance of youth is bliss. As you get older, you start to realise that you dont really know anything and life is a great traveling journey. Life is unexpected…you just never know whats going to happen. Reese Witherspoon
As a kid I had dreams about being successful, thinking it would be cool. Then, when I was in my 20s, I really thought I had it much more figured out than I do now. Ben Stiller
You go through different phases and points in your life and thats interesting. Someone may turn 40 and be thrilled to be out of their 30s, you know, but I dont think about it a lot. I feel younger than I did years ago. I have a better sense of myself and what I’m willing to accept in personal and business relationships. That can only come with age, so I value the toll those years have taken on me for the positive aspects theyve brought. I wouldnt want to relive the drama of my early 20s because those were very angst-ridden. Adrien Brody
All I’m saying is that when you’re in your 20s, it’s easy to sit in your ivory tower/ seventh story walk-up apartment and talk about what you’ll want in ten years. There are plenty of things I never thought about wanting ten years ago that are very important to me now. Health insurance, for one… It just seems shortsighted when people are like: “Of course I don’t want kids. I have red wine and/ or Xbox and 1,300 Twitter followers, and that’s all I’ll ever need.” I’m keeping my options open. Josh Gondelman
Once I hit 25 and exited the coveted 18-24 age bracket, I was like, “Whatevs. Just wake me when I’m 30.” 26 doesn’t feel much different than 25. They seem interchangeable. They leave the same impression. Both feel very young adult.Ryan O’Connell

From Thought Catalog: 30 Greatest Quotes About Women

30 Greatest Quotes About Women

APR. 26, 2013
There are only three things to be done with a woman. You can love her, suffer for her, or turn her into literature. Henry Miller
Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.Joseph Conrad
I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others. Amelia Earhart
Women kill me. They really do. I don’t mean I’m oversexed or anything like that — although I am quite sexy. I just like them, I mean. They’re always leaving their goddam bags out in the middle of the aisle. J.D. Salinger
And yet women — good women — frightened me because they eventually wanted your soul, and what was left of mine, I wanted to keep.Charles Bukowski
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot. John Lennon
Why are women… so much more interesting to men than men are to women? Virginia Woolf
An elegant woman is a woman who despises you and has no hair under her arms. Salvador Dalí
Be not ashamed women, … You are the gates of the body, and you are the gates of the soul.Walt Whitman
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him. Cher
The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life. Oscar Wilde
I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn’t be a staring contest. Frank Sinatra
Women must tell men always that they are the strong ones. They are the big, the strong, the wonderful. In truth, women are the strong ones. It is just my opinion, I am not a professor. Coco Chanel
I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves. Mary Wollstonecraft
Women think with their whole bodies and they see things as a whole more than men do.Dorothy Day
Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies.Arthur Schopenhauer
In love, women are professionals, men are amateurs. Francois Truffaut
Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men? Barbra Streisand
Women are frightening. If you get to 41 as a man, you’re quite battle-scarred. Hugh Grant
The appalling thing is the degree of charity women are capable of. You see it all the time… love lavished on absolute fools. Love’s a charity ward, you know. Lawrence Durrell
Women are made to be loved, not understood.Oscar Wilde
I don’t hate women — they just sometimes make me mad. Eminem
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. Aristotle Onassis
Women in particular need to keep an eye on their physical and mental health, because if we’re scurrying to and from appointments and errands, we don’t have a lot of time to take care of ourselves. We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own “to do” list.Michelle Obama
All the reasonings of men are not worth one sentiment of women. Voltaire
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. Robin Williams
There are only two types of women — goddesses and doormats. Pablo Picasso
I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will. Charlotte Brontë
It is past time for women to take their rightful place, side by side with men, in the rooms where the fates of peoples, where their children’s and grandchildren’s fates, are decided. Hillary Clinton
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. Roseanne Barr TC mark

Saturday, August 10, 2013

What NOT To Say To A Friend In Crisis


AUGUST 7, 2013 WITH 1,319 NOTES ± PERMALINK

What NOT To Say To A Friend In Crisis

It’s great to support a friend through a hard time. Being there for them, and helping them talk through it is a wonderful way to help them heal. But there are certain things that you should avoid saying if you want to keep from doing more harm than good:
 
·        “It could be a lot worse”. Of course any situation could always be a lot worse, but no one wants to hear this. Don’t downplay what they are going through by telling them that other people have it harder or that their situation isn’t all that bad. When you are upset about something it feels rotten, so just let them wallow and have their moment.
·        “There are plenty of other fish in the sea”. No one wants to hear this cliché after a breakup. Of course there are other people out there, but at the time they aren’t interested in thinking about it. Dating other people and the idea of getting back out there seems overwhelming, and it’s the last thing on their mind. They are also grieving the loss of their relationship, so give them time to do that before you start suggesting that they date other people.
·        “I know exactly how you feel”. Unless you’ve been through an identical situation, you don’t know how they feel, so don’t tell them that you do. If you can’t relate to what they’re going through just say something like, “I can only imagine how upset you must be”. Or, “I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better”. Don’t pretend that you have all the answers if you don’t.
·        “That reminds me of this thing that happened to me…”. This is not about you, so stop yourself before you launch into stories about yourself and your own experiences. Don’t turn the situation into a chance to talk about yourself. Instead, try listening to their feelings rather than doing so much talking.
·        “Hang in there”. You mean well when you say this but it’s annoying to hear when you’re going though a hard time. It sounds like you’re just trying to placate them and it doesn’t really mean anything, because they have no choice but to hang in there. Try saying something less patronizing and less generic, like, “I know you’ll get through this, and I’ll be there to help you however I can”.
·        “That happened to a friend of mine and she died/ended up alone forever/had a traumatic experience”. If something bad happens to someone, resist the urge to tell them horror stories about similar things happening to other people. If someone is sick, don’t tell them how your neighbor was hospitalized for months with the same thing only to die a slow and painful death. People feel the need to share gory details with people who are going through a hard time, and it’s unnecessary and only makes the other person feel worse. Try to be uplifting instead.
 
 
 
 
(Source: psych-quotes)